In Case You Weren't Sure There Were Boys in This House

A few days ago, Jacob was adjusting his pants. He kept pulling them up and twisting them around.  

"Jacob, do you need help?"

"No, Mommy, sometimes my weiner just sticks out of the underwear hole and needs my help to get back in. Don't worry about it. I've got it."

::

Like most days during his rest, Jacob was calling for assistance in the bathroom.  I walked in not surprised to find him pants down in a three point stance waiting for me to get some toilet paper to finish wiping. This is normal- well in our house, anyway.

Today, however, Jacob was in his usual position, but flicking his private area.

I paused.

He said, "Isn't funny how the part at the bottom of my weiner is so fat? It's like there are little balls in there."

I wiped.

"It's just soooooo fat, Mommy."

I sighed.  "Just wash your hands, OK?"

::

Yesterday, while giving Jacob a bath, he was playing with an empty bottle of shampoo.

"Mommy. Watch what this can do. I can put this ALL THE WAY into the shampoo bottle. My weiner fits the WHOLE WAY IN! Isn't that awesome?"

::


"OUCH!"

"What?"

"You can punch my in the head, just not in the weiner."

"OK. That's good."