As part of the process of looking for a surgeon, Asher's chart was sent to many different places.
If you have not had to go to many medical specialists, you might think this is easy work. Well, let me assure you it requires several million phone calls and faxes to do this. Because of HIPPA or some other medical acronym, offices can only release their own information. So while the pediatrician has everything, they can not send the actual information from specialists to anywhere. The information must be requested directly from that provider.
In preparation, Dan diligently called the old cardiac clinic in Charlotte, and the current one at UNC, and released files go everywhere we were requesting surgical review. Due to some bogus medical Charlie Foxtrot, apparently the cardiothorascic surgical clinic at the hospital is different from the regular cardiology clinic, so one critical aspect of his chart was missing. When we realized it, Dan called everyone again, faxed everyone again, and had a copy sent to us so we would know when it go where it was going.
It was the actual operative report.
The one that the surgeon dictates as a record of what exactly happened after they whisked Asher away.
The one that was not meant for parents to read when they mindlessly opened the mail.
It is technical for a reason. It has to be in order to clearly document what happened during the surgery. I'm sure it was a well written report.
For other surgeons.
Not for my eyes.
But I had to read it.
Have you ever held a sweet smelling baby in your lap and tried not to kiss its head? Even if its not yours, you kiss it. You can't help it. Or have you ever tried not to eat an M&M when walking by a bowl? Can't help yourself...
Dan told me to put it in the freezer and not look at it again. But it was too late.
The words were in front of me I couldn't help myself and now they are swirling around in my brain.
Words that didn't mean anything before.
20 French chest tube
Or meant something totally different before.
sternal saw
Times that seemed meaningless.
cardiopulmonary bypass time: 89 minutes
Harsh words.
jugular venous line
Words that don't belong in surgery.
hockey shaped aortotomy
Violent words.
electrocautery
Words that seem too regular.
tolerated the operation nicely
These words were not meant for me, but now I have them and many more. I have them in my memory. I have them and the images I have created to go with them. They are additions to this memory that I try to let fade.
They are just words. But we all know how much words can hurt.
If you have not had to go to many medical specialists, you might think this is easy work. Well, let me assure you it requires several million phone calls and faxes to do this. Because of HIPPA or some other medical acronym, offices can only release their own information. So while the pediatrician has everything, they can not send the actual information from specialists to anywhere. The information must be requested directly from that provider.
In preparation, Dan diligently called the old cardiac clinic in Charlotte, and the current one at UNC, and released files go everywhere we were requesting surgical review. Due to some bogus medical Charlie Foxtrot, apparently the cardiothorascic surgical clinic at the hospital is different from the regular cardiology clinic, so one critical aspect of his chart was missing. When we realized it, Dan called everyone again, faxed everyone again, and had a copy sent to us so we would know when it go where it was going.
It was the actual operative report.
The one that the surgeon dictates as a record of what exactly happened after they whisked Asher away.
The one that was not meant for parents to read when they mindlessly opened the mail.
It is technical for a reason. It has to be in order to clearly document what happened during the surgery. I'm sure it was a well written report.
For other surgeons.
Not for my eyes.
But I had to read it.
Have you ever held a sweet smelling baby in your lap and tried not to kiss its head? Even if its not yours, you kiss it. You can't help it. Or have you ever tried not to eat an M&M when walking by a bowl? Can't help yourself...
Dan told me to put it in the freezer and not look at it again. But it was too late.
The words were in front of me I couldn't help myself and now they are swirling around in my brain.
Words that didn't mean anything before.
20 French chest tube
Or meant something totally different before.
sternal saw
Times that seemed meaningless.
cardiopulmonary bypass time: 89 minutes
Harsh words.
jugular venous line
Words that don't belong in surgery.
hockey shaped aortotomy
Violent words.
electrocautery
Words that seem too regular.
tolerated the operation nicely
These words were not meant for me, but now I have them and many more. I have them in my memory. I have them and the images I have created to go with them. They are additions to this memory that I try to let fade.
They are just words. But we all know how much words can hurt.
Post a Comment
Been there, Done that.